I have a problem. I eat like an eight year old. It’s wonderful and terrible all at the same time. It’s pretty much cheeseburgers and ice cream around here all the time. After all, the four food groups of awesome aren’t exactly designed for bikini season. This is especially ironic since I live in the land of endless summer. But regardless of imminent swimsuit wearing possibilities, I’ll always go for another slice of pizza. I like to enjoy myself
And yet, sometimes even I can start to feel weighed down by all the cheeseburgers, cookies and pizza. Oh and one too many ciders. Unfortunately, even my attempts at “healthy” eating end up with bacon in them.
Look, I just don’t like vegetables. If I could be hypnotized into believing that broccoli and kale were delicious, I’d do it in a second. It just doesn’t make me happy. In fact, it kind of grosses me out. I have issues. I don’t mind the occasional simple salad, provided it doesn’t contain frisee. This, however, is a salad I actually look forward to.
The dressing is made from Dijon mustard whisked right into the bacon grease, and it’s topped with tender lovely boiled eggs. And bacon. Did I mention bacon?
Life is too short to eat bad food. This salad is delicious and is bound to have fewer calories than a bacon cheeseburger. Maybe it’s not clean or skinny, but it definitely tastes awesome. Do it!
- 4 eggs
- 1 head of your favorite lettuce (I pick whatever's second cheapest after iceberg, but never ever frisee)
- 1 garlic clove (or garlic infused oil)
- 4-6 slices of bacon (whatever's leftover in your fridge)
- 1 Tablespoon Dijon mustard
- 4 teaspoons cider vinegar
- dash of Worcestershire sauce
- Put your eggs in a small saucepan and fill with water just until your eggs are submerged. Put this over high heat and bring to a boil. Allow the water to boil for one minute and then turn off the heat. Leave everything alone for ten minutes. Pour cold water over the eggs, then park them in the fridge until you're ready for them.
- Chop or tear your lettuce and throw it in your salad bowl.
- Crack a clove of garlic by placing it under the flat of your knife and giving it a good whack. Peel the garlic and put it in your frying pan with just a touch of oil if you have it. Turn the heat under your frying pan to medium
- Using scissors, cut your bacon into small pieces over your frying pan. Stir frequently and cook until the bacon is crisp.
- Drain the bacon on a paper towel lined plate, and discard the garlic. (Or not, if that's your thing.) Remove the frying pan from the heat.
- Add the Dijon mustard to your bacon fat and carefully whisk these two together until combined.
- Whisk in the vinegar and Worcestershire.
- Season your lettuce if you like and add your bacon and dressing. Toss lightly.
- Peel your eggs, then cut them into quarters and add these to your salad. Give it a final gentle toss, then try to convince yourself you're having a healthy meal whilst eating lettuce coated in bacon fat. It's gonna be so awesome!