Be Awesome: Find Your Tribe


So I told you about what went down on my Duncan Hines trip. Plot points are fun, but you know I can’t go more than five minutes without talking about my feelings. I learned a lot about baking, but I also learned something about myself. Something that I hope I can use to make my life a bit more awesome.

When I knocked on the door to the hospitality suite at the Duncan Hines Sweet Stars event, I was more than a bit terrified. My social anxiety was pretty out of control. This is exactly the kind of situation that freaks me out. Trapped for a weekend with a bunch of people who don’t know me. My husband, my best friend, my rock was in the middle of the ocean. I had almost no confidence in myself to make it through this weekend without completely humiliating myself. I gave it a pretty good shot Saturday morning, too.

I have to admit, it started off pretty shaky. Everybody seemed to know each other. Everybody seemed to have money and stability and a normal life. I didn’t know how to communicate with them. And of course, I can’t be anything but myself, so I’m sure at least a few people thought I was pretty weird. 

Events like this are no different than the high school cafeteria. I’ve learned that this dynamic never really goes away. There are always going to be the alphas, the betas, and then whatever I am. That’s how life goes, and I’m used to not being cool enough. It doesn’t really bother me.

Eventually, though, I found my tribe. The people on my wavelength. The people who made me feel like I belong. You have to have a tribe. It’s imperative to social survival.

There were a few people at the event that I could feel comfortable with and that I liked so much I wish I could take them home with me. 

The world is a big place, so there’s a good chance that someone out there is at least a little bit like you. If you can find those people, your life will be filled with much more laughter. Although I have a policy of being nice to everyone, and I sincerely try, I find I only truly connect with a few people. I think it’s perfectly okay to focus most of your energy on them.

I don’t have a need to be liked by everyone, but I do have a need to connect. I worried that I would spend the entire weekend by myself because I’m too much of a goofball to go up to people and just start blabbing about my real life and too stupidly honest to play it cool. Luckily, there were other people there who were much more outgoing than me, and they reached out. And though some people surely thought I was nuts, I found a tribe that accepted me and didn’t allow me to be tossed aside. I am so grateful to them for taking in the new girl.

I always dread social situations, but they usually end up being pretty awesome. Your tribe is out there. No matter what you’re into or where you are in life, there’s bound to be somebody who thinks like you. You can be exactly who you are. Somebody will appreciate you and laugh at your jokes. You never have to feel alone if you find your tribe.

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2 thoughts to “Be Awesome: Find Your Tribe”

  1. Wow – you wrote exactly what I was feeling but better! I was just as terrified as you – I had to force myself to go down to the hospitality suite and almost chickened out a few times before I got there! It’s crazy how many times I heard that over the weekend even from people I thought looked very confident and had found their tribe. I wish we would have had more time to get to know each other over that weekend- it sounds like we have a lot in common. However, I am so glad that there is facebook and blogging to make up for that!

    1. Thanks for being part of my tribe. I was so happy to connect with you. I hope we can meet again in real life soon. Until then, I’m excited to get to know you better from afar. The internet is awesome!

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