I Can’t Bake-Off Chocolate Celebration Cake

Today I’m here with the ultimate example of why I could never go on The Great British Bake-Off. Before we get into how bad this cake is, I want to say that if I was actually making a chocolate cake for a celebration, I’d make this Practically Perfect Chocolate Cake, and load it up with sprinkles because I think great cake is all your need to celebrate.

I’d also never bake something for a celebration or a competition that I was baking for the first time, but for this post, I decided to try the Death by Chocolate cake from The Great British Book of Baking, the companion book to the first season of the show. This recipe is flourless, contains no butter or oil, uses dark chocolate, and is leavened only with beaten eggs. I should have known it would be dry and crumbly. But I trusted the book and tried it out. It was also topped with ganache, which is what most people on this episode of the show covered their chocolate cakes with. I would not make this again.

I also wanted to try a chocolate technique because Paul and Mary don’t let you get away with keeping things simple. They want to see your skills, and I don’t have any of those. I tried to make chocolate brush strokes for the first time. This is something I feel like I could probably figure out with a bit more practice, and a bit more patience. I definitely should have chilled them for longer. I made way more chocolate brushstrokes, but I couldn’t get most of them off the chocolate because they just melted in my hands. Why do people try to create art with something that melts at below body temperature? It doesn’t make sense.

Even though this cake was unsuccessful, I learned something and had fun doing it. Part of this challenge I set myself was not just to prove how hard baking can be, but to push myself to try things I would normally avoid because they’re too hard or too fussy. I’ll never be an artistic baker, but I’m excited to experiment with no pressure. Paul and Mary will never love my baking, but that won’t keep me out of the kitchen.

I think the next episode is biscuit week, so get ready to see some uneven, misshapen biscuits. It’s gonna be awesome. Maybe.

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