So it turns out that manifesting your dreams is really hard work and super discouraging sometimes. Occasionally, I hear about people who seemed to just wake up with 10,000 Instagram followers or they just made more than my annual salary in a month without really trying, and though I know I shouldn’t let it get me down, it so does. When that envy dragon rises up inside of me, it rages pretty ferociously. Envy is my wickedest demon. Maybe you can relate.
Right, give me two seconds to vent, then we’ll get on to solutions. For context, ya know. I’ve been putting the vast majority of my spare time and pretty much all of my emotional energy into growing this blog and trying to learn how to make some semblence of a business out of it for over four months now. While I’ve seen a tiny bit of growth over last year, my traffic is still much lower than it was in 2016 when I was hardly trying. I’m growing at a glacial pace, and it’s so demoralizing.
But nobody wants to hang out at this pity party all day. So let’s flip the script. When life is kicking your ass, what do you do? For me, there’s usually chocolate involved. But I also need to shift my perspective. Other people’s success don’t negate the possibility of my own. Just because someone else is releasing a new book doesn’t mean I could never write one. What comes easily to someone else might be a huge struggle for me, but there may be people who look at my life and wish they were doing something I take for granted.
Failures are so easy to spot. They take up so much space in our hearts. But hiding amongst all the work, there’s always success that we don’t see when we’re so busy focusing on what we haven’t accomplished. I made my traffic goal for January, modest as it was. I’m creeping up on 400 followers on Instagram, which isn’t much, but it’s more than what I had. I still haven’t made any money, but I’m trying to learn more to change that. And I haven’t slacked off and missed a post once since my relaunch. That’s something I haven’t been able to say for years.
Next time you’re stuck in an envy spiral, stop and look through a different lense. Find something to celebrate, no matter how small. And if you can, say it out loud. Better yet, say it out loud to someone who will tell you how extraordinary you already are. Chances are, you’ve been working too hard to remember. You are smart and creative and that thing you’re trying to do? You can totally do that. Just keep working. We’ll get there together.