It’s been a task getting this cake to you, my loves. I meant to tell you about this gorgeous cake last Monday, and then yesterday, but between work and migraines, it’s only today that I am able to reveal it’s indulgent beauty. My co-workers, after a week of harassing me for not bringing them any treats, decided they truly loved me once again when I presented this offering. It’s just so good.
I feel like there’s some sort of food blogger law that says I have to make something red velvet in time for Valentine’s Day. I barely made it, but I really don’t think you should give yourself any restrictions when it comes to this cake. Before it was a national phenomenon, I learned to love red velvet during my days of living in the South where they’ve been eating it for generations. Remember that “bleedin’ armadilla groom’s cake” in Steel Magnolias? They don’t fool around down there, people.
It surprises me how few people actually know what red velvet is made of. I guess most folks are still getting their red velvet fix from the cupcake shop or the local grocery store bakery counter. Making it yourself is super easy, but in my opinion, there are a few things a red velvet cake must have. It’s lightly chocolaty, but it has to have a bit of a tangy flavor as well, which is brought to you by buttermilk and a touch of apple cider vinegar. Red velvet cake also has to be super moist. If it’s dry, it doesn’t count. I just had a piece of this today, six days after baking it, and it was still perfect. This is a stellar recipe from Divas Can Cook.
Gosh, I can really ramble about cake. But these things are important, people. I’m sorry, but cake is serious.
And in case you’re wondering what makes it red, you’re overthinking it. It’s a whole bottle of red food coloring. Your batter should look like Marilyn Monroe’s lipstick. If you’re really into all natural, you can use beets. I’ve never tried it. I’m more into being lazy. If it’s any consolation, there’s half a cup of booze in this recipe, since every time I see coffee in a recipe, I replace it with Kahlua. What could go wrong?
One more rule. You have to have ridiculous amounts of cream cheese frosting. It’s required.
Anyway, Valentine Shmalentine. I’m not that into it. We’re going to continue our tradition of getting take out and eating on the beach. I suppose I’m in favor of any holiday that gives you an excuse to eat chocolate. Or make red velvet cake. Go for it!
- 2 cups all purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 3/4 teaspoon salt
- 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
- 2 cups sugar
- 1 cup vegetable oil
- 2 eggs
- 1 cup buttermilk
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 ounce red food coloring
- 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
- 1/2 cup Kahlua
- 125 grams (4.5 ounces) butter, room temperature
- 125 grams (4.5 ounces) cream cheese, room temperature
- 500 grams (4-1/2 cups) powdered sugar
- 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
- Preheat oven to 325 and spray a 13x9 inch pan with a non-stick spray with flour (or butter and flour it if you're not as lazy as me).
- In a small bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cocoa powder.
- In a large mixing bowl, use your mixer on low to combine the sugar and oil, then mix in the eggs, buttermilk, vanilla, and food coloring. Finally mix in vinegar and Kahlua.
- With your mixer on the lowest setting, slowly add in dry ingredients until just combined. Give everything one last mix with a rubber spatula, making sure you've scraped down your bowl.
- Pour the batter into your waiting pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes. You don't want to overbake your cake, but a toothpick should come out clean.
- Allow the cake to cool completely before frosting.
- In a large mixing bowl, use your electric mixer to beat together the butter and cream cheese until smooth and light. Slowly add in the powdered sugar and the vinegar. Beat until well combined.
- Dump all your frosting onto your cake and spread it on. I used my offset spatula to make little swirls throughout the cake. Then I cut a heart out of a sheet of wax paper. I layed it lightly over the cake like a stencil and added the sprinkles. A little romance never hurt anyone.
- Share this cake with people you want to make love you. It will definitely work.