A Reason to Celebrate and Swiss and Bacon Dip

I have a confession to make. I haven’t been playing my own game the last couple of months. With my husband being out of work, it’s been a little like Greece around here lately, and not because of an over abundance of pita and hummus. We’ve had to put in place some serious austerity measures. It’s been dour. Decidedly unawesome. I’ve been trying to spend as little money as possible, so $20 a day was definitely out of the question.

Sad times
Sad times

But after more than ten weeks of only a trickle of income from web design projects, my husband was finally offered a job today. I know he is thrilled to have somewhere to go and something to do again. And I’m breathing easier myself knowing that we don’t have to live off of my very meager income.

Awesome times!
Awesome times!

I get to spoil myself again. No, this doesn’t involve Coach bags or trips to the spa. This is real life, kids. Tomorrow I’m going to the ATM and taking out my $140 for the week. Then I’m going to the grocery store and buying myself some chicken breasts so I can actually make some of the recipes on my list. This is what the lower tax brackets get excited about. Chicken. It’s true. And a six pack of ciders. That will probably be in my basket, too.

Swiss and Bacon Dip
Swiss and Bacon Dip served at our wedding. Photo by Lindsey Vandolah

When you get news this good, you have to celebrate. I almost never have a party for which I don’t make Swiss and Bacon Dip. It’s got to be one of the best things I’ve ever put in my mouth. Warm gooey cheese with bacon on sour dough bread. Just look at that sentence.

Every time I make this, it completely disappears. There isn’t a crumb left behind. It’s mind-blowing. So think of an excuse for a party and make this. Just got a haircut? Party. Stubbed your toe? Party. I don’t care, just celebrate. And raise a glass to my husband ’cause he’s totally awesome.

Swiss and Bacon Dip in a Sourdough Bread Bowl

Swiss and Bacon Dip
Serves 6
The most delicious hot dip there is. Gooey Swiss cheese and crisp bacon will blow you away.
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Prep Time
20 min
Cook Time
15 min
Prep Time
20 min
Cook Time
15 min
Ingredients
  1. 8 slices bacon, chopped (I use scissors)
  2. 8 ounces softened cream cheese
  3. 1/2 cup mayo
  4. 2 Tbsp Dijon mustard
  5. 10 grinds of pepper
  6. 1-1/2 cups shredded Swiss cheese
  7. 3 scallions, chopped (use the scissors again)
  8. 1 round loaf of sour dough bread
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 400.
  2. Cook your bacon to desired crispiness, which for me is nearly burnt. Drain the bacon on a paper towel.
  3. Add cream cheese, mayo, mustard, and pepper to a mixing bowl and mix until combined and smooth.
  4. Add cheese and scallions and mix to combine. Then throw in the bacon and mix that in, too.
  5. Scoop out the mix into a shallow baking dish. Bake it uncovered for 15 to 20 minutes until gooey.
  6. In the meantime, cut the top out of your bread loaf and pull out the guts of your bread to make a bread bowl. Tear the bread and arrange it on your platter around the loaf.
  7. When the dip is hot, carefully scrape it in to the bread bowl. Steal a piece of bread to clean off the baking dish for taste testing purposes. Don’t skip this step.
  8. You could serve this with carrots or other veggies if you like. I’m not gonna eat that. Really, the bread is all you need.
Adapted from Rachael Ray
Adapted from Rachael Ray
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Cholesterol Sandwich

I’ve been wanting to share this humble sandwich with you ever since I first conceived of this blog. It’s in a close race with my mom’s tacos for the thing most often eaten in this house. It’s something you can throw together with things you probably have laying around your kitchen, and it brings me ridiculous amounts of joy to eat it. We like to call it the cholesterol sandwich.

Cholesterol Sandwich

Okay, it’s really just bacon, egg, and cheese on toast. We give weird names to things sometimes. Get over it.

There are a few things you have to do to make this sandwich extra special. I could say make your bacon anyway you like, but if you’re not cooking your bacon to utter crispiness, as in moments from incineration, then your sandwich probably won’t be as awesome. You’ll bite into it and your bacon won’t snap and you’ll end up pulling off an entire piece of bacon at once. I hate that. Crispy bacon, people. It’s the way of the future.

Crispy Bacon

And you absolutely must fry your eggs the way my husband does. The first time I saw him doing this, I was utterly disgusted. But then I ate the sandwich, and I was utterly delighted. You have to crack the egg right into the pool of bacon fat you’ve just created, and then splash the bacon fat over the egg to cook it. The egg doesn’t get flipped, it just gets bathed in bacon fat until the whites are set and the yolk is at maximum oozing potential.

Cholesterol Sandwich Perfect Egg

And if you can get eggs fresh from your backyard, you win the super awesome medal of awesomeness. There will be a post on the awesomest of pets coming soon.

My Chicken

There’s nothing fancy here. You could jazz it up with smoked gouda. You could make it healthy with turkey bacon. There are a million variations. But if you want to make a heavenly meal on the cheap, buy whatever bacon is on sale at your grocery store. If they have a buy one get one free deal, you are in major luck. Put the other pack in the freezer and you’ll have cholesterol sandwiches for weeks. Then use whatever cheese you happen to have in your refrigerator. If you try to tell me you don’t usually have cheese in your fridge at any given moment, then you’ve probably been possessed by aliens.

Cholesterol Sandwich

Make this sandwich. Mix it up. Put on it whatever you like. But don’t skip the egg bathed in fat. And whatever you do, don’t overcook it. If you don’t have egg yolk running down your arm before the end, you’re not doing it right. You will be transported. I promise

Cholesterol Sandwich
Serves 1
The most ridiculous bacon egg and cheese sandwich ever.
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Total Time
20 min
Total Time
20 min
Ingredients
  1. 2-3 slices of bacon
  2. 2 slices of bread
  3. 1 Tbsp mayonnaise
  4. 1 slice of cheese (or a fat pinch if shredded)
  5. 1 egg
Instructions
  1. Lay your bacon slices in a frying pan on medium high heat and cook to your desired level of crispiness.
  2. In the meantime, toast your bread and spread mayo on both sides. Put your cheese on while the bread is still warm.
  3. When the bacon is ready, lay it on a paper towel covered plate to drain.
  4. Crack your egg into the bacon grease. Try to keep it toward the edge. Tilt your pan toward the egg to make a pool of grease. Use your spatula to gently splash the grease over the egg. Once the whites have set, carefully lift out the egg and place it on top of the cheese.
  5. Break up your bacon and arrange it on your sandwich. Top it with the toast and give it a gentle press.
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Cholesterol Sandwich Aftermath

 

Once you pick up this sandwich, you won’t be able to put it down. Don’t bother with napkins, just keep eating until it’s done, then go wash your hands. The euphoria will last for hours.

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